There is still so much more to give…

The old analogy is that life is about give and take. And frankly, it is. It is the law of nature for there to be perfect harmony; two equal and opposite forces working together, constantly and each at its own time.

In society, we have been taught this principal of equality; what we give, we should receive back. That we should not give any more when he have nothing to give, or no strength to give. Or we should not give any more because we are not receiving.

But what about the quality of what it is we give? If we give a hug, should we receive the equal? If we love someone, are we right to expect the same love in return? Do we only give as much as we want to return?  Society is very much enthralled in the concept of quantity and not quality. We want ‘value for money’, a ‘return on our investment’, a ‘bang for our buck’. This is why we are only concerned with what we will receive for our trouble, and not the quality of what we are giving.

Two ideas come into play here. Living in the present and giving in the present. If we are concerned with what we will get, we concern ourselves with future outcomes that for some elusive reasons may or may not happen. We are inhibiting the giving, because we are already measuring the worth of our future return. To give and expect equal on return, is to shape your giving so as to try and influence the outcome. It is to be quantitative and not qualitative.

To be giving in the present, we must concern ourselves with what quality we wish to offer for the world, from the goodness of our hearts and not from the emptiness we wish to fill upon return. To give and give and give, and feel that we can keep on giving, is a true blessing. To be an endless wellspring of giving, offering, contribution with the pure attitude of non-attachment is a virtue that needs to be practised and developed daily.

It is in this way that the law of nature works. To be so concerned with giving in a non-attached way as to almost forget about receiving, is not naïve or wearying; it is truly gratifying. Because for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

What I have personally noticed, is when we are not receiving what we want, when we are so focused on the ‘getting’ that we adjust the ‘giving’, it is purely because we are not giving quality. We acknowledge the lack we feel in ourselves, and dwell on it, rather than attempting to give more to the experience. A concept of Zen teacher John Daido Loori is if we practise non-attachment, we increase and experience unity. Unity is to focus on heightening experience and not to get too involved in the processes of how, when, what and why.

My goal and focus for the coming months is to focus on what I can give and offer to my experiences and in turn, through quality giving what unity I can create.

Copyright ©SoulSurfer 29 October 2012 at 10.26am

Life in motion

Probably about two years ago, my good friend Mark and I were musing about life and love, and Buddhism, and inevitably reached the topic of attachment. Mark mentioned that, in a nutshell, Buddhism teaches non-attachment; the idea that we have to get rid of the desire to possess things, to attach ourselves to things externally, as this produces discord and addiction. The ideal way of thinking about this can be summed up in the following quote by Zen teacher John Daido Loori:

"[A]ccording to the Buddhist point of view, nonattachment is exactly the opposite of separation. You need two things in order to have attachment: the thing you’re attaching to, and the person who’s attaching. In nonattachment, on the other hand, there’s unity. There’s unity because there’s nothing to attach to. If you have unified with the whole universe, there’s nothing outside of you, so the notion of attachment becomes absurd. Who will attach to what?"

An amazing concept, but quite a feat to comprehend and employ in real life. From the moment we are born, we survive on the concept of attachment. It is a necessity for a child to depend on their mother for food, warmth, comfort. As we grow older, attachment is a means of carving out our world, being led by example, and forging our own path from the comfort and safety of a trusted source. Attachment is a means of survival.

But as we grow older, we may find attachment to be somewhat troublesome and addicting. First love, first heart break; first problems, first vices. Sometimes attachment becomes the kind that inhibits us from continuing on the path and expanding our world and consciousness; moving forward…

Love is the best example of this. How can a person NOT attach themself to the person they love? How can we live a seemingly emotionless, unattached existence from someone who is so close, someone who we exchange feelings and emotions with continually?

The sheer exchange of emotions plants memories, dreams, hopes and expectations in our minds and hearts. And these linger, especially in trying times, when these no longer match the current emotion experienced. Furthermore, discord occurs when the feelings experienced by two people no longer match, and therefore these dreams, hopes and expectations are not forged. This is where the attachment occurs. Emotions come and go, but the outcomes attached to these can stick around for a long time. A person does not get attached to emotions, they get attached to the predicted outcome of these emotions.

So knowing this how is it possible to live life unattached, yet happy and unified with others? Take a stroll down by the sea on a good surf day. There will be moments when surfers sit on their boards and wait for the waves to roll in, and there will be times they are catching each wave as it comes. What you will notice, every day, is that high or low tide, the waves never stop. Whether you experience the surf to be good or bad, is a subjective opinion. But the waves never stop, there is constant motion. That is the law of nature, of the sea.

Buddha taught the same principal: to live life in harmony and accept life as it is. To accept that life has ebb and flow, things which come and which go, things that are experienced as joys, and others that are experienced as troubles.

In accepting the unity, the perfection of the entire experience of life, we become non-attached. Because there is nothing to attach to, the experience is in us, and we are the experience. We live life in flow, in motion, in harmony; aware of the dichotomy, yet appreciating the perfection of life as it is.  

Copyright © SoulSurfer 26 October 2012 at 10.42am

“Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?”

Holidays are always that amazing time for complete rest and abandon. As soon as I write this, many tropical getaways come to mind. Recently I was watching a movie with Robert Machado, where he delves into such a tropical abandon. Away from the world of competitive surfing, he can focus solely on what he loves the most. The more he distances himself from others, from civilisation, the more he believes he is finally at peace and in full focus. But ultimately he comes to the realisation that we do need others to feel in contact with our lives.

 

I’d say holidays, or some form of rest and relaxation are crucial to each and every person. An amazing quote springs to mind straight away:

“Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?”

Life without holidays, becomes such a drudgery, a conglomerate of similar days, moods, feelings and therefore outcomes. I believe we always need to be refreshed and refocused to go after our goals and dreams. This is what living, and not merely breathing is about. It’s easy to simply exist, to fall into the monotony of life, to see each day in the same shade, and believe that repeating the same thing over and over gets us somewhere else in life. But it’s harder (and more rewarding) to push beyond the boundaries of pure existence, check our current state against that of our dreams, and aim to make that connection to get there. Every day, in every way.

Obviously to feel a dream is worth doing, you need to be inspired. But inspiration is like a bird in the hand, it flies away too quickly. If you pursue it too fervently, it simply escapes you. But if you take the time to attract it, make room for it in your life, it appears very quickly to aid and guide you. Holidays, allow you to feel wonder, awe, amazement – all feelings which attract inspiration. Holidays are almost a moment taken out of time and existence, when only inspiration and love conquer. However holidays, like birds and inspiration, fly away too quickly too. Inspiration is just the spark that provides the flame for the realisation of dreams.

Daily attention to dreams and goals, continually taking time to be inspired, keeps the flame alive. Paulo Coelho says:

“One day you will wake up, and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now.”

We need to put a sense of urgency on our dreams. If you are not living YOUR life, than who is? If you are not taking that holiday you always wanted, than who is? If you could be a better person for yourself and others, than what is stopping you?

Everyone needs to take time out to find their own “tropical getaway”, from which they can emerge refreshed and revitalised towards life. We are not merely breathing, we are living a dream of our own… It’s always time to get reconnected and inspired.

Do it now.

SoulSurfer © 12th September 2012 at 3.56pm. Photo by Patricia Pahl. 

Jumping back into it...

The most beautiful way I have ever heard someone describe surfing is Andy Irons. "It's the closest thing you can feel to being kissed by God,"

For real. I cannot imagine a moment in time you could be closer to heaven than that. The culminating moment in time when all manner of opposing forces, physical, spatial and spiritual come together and just work. Actually, you cannot take the spirit out of surfing. You can take it out of the surfer, but not out of surfing.

I guess surfing for me is a spiritual haven, a reconnection to the true life force. I have subtle felt this void in my life, especially the last few weeks. Just stepping out and seeing the waves crash, imagining the endless opportunities of just jumping on that board, and paddling out, has spurred something new in me. Definitely new. Kind of a new flame in me, that once I hit the swells, will turn into a fire. A fire burning and propelling me forward. I have been on hiatus long enough, used every common excuse to avoid putting on the wetsuit and paddling out.

Life can get stagnant when you stop doing the things you love. You have nothing to differentiate you, to propel you forward where others will give up. It’s all about lighting that fire from within, having that constant relay between physical and spiritual. In fact, it’s that connection which is the pulse of life. You need to keep the energy, enthusiasm, drive and love pumping, from mind to body, body to mind. Once you stop the heartbeat of your life, all else starts to fail.


Surfing has been something that plugs me in, that connects me to my life. Like the moment you plunge into a body of cool water on a hot summer’s day, feeling that initial tingling, excitement, refreshment and cleansing; instantly your senses become heightened to new, extraordinary levels, and the experience renews you. That is surfing for me every time. Your life can kind of take you beyond its expectations if you go with the flow. If you let go, release, and allow yourself to connect with the divine energy.

This has kind of been the prominent theme of my life these past few weeks. And I cannot wait to embody this experience, and dive into the surf once again…

Copyright © SoulSurfer 23 July 2012 at 12.22pm

Be (with) someone who makes you happy.

I read this quote this morning, and it has really stuck with me for the last few hours. I guess an explosion of creative and positive energy originated from this quote, and I am happy to write the following…

I have noticed recently the depressing ‘reality’ of everyday life. Stay with me here, because I assure you this post is not at all depressing, as well as the ‘reality’ I describe not all that real.

Life confines us and boxes us in to certain rules, regulations, conventions, ways of being. We follow these and hope they will lead us to a happy, stable, and foreseeable future. And for the most part this works. But to be honest, we get so lost in the routine of our lives, that we lose touch with our souls and our heart’s desires. Maybe this comes with age, but just one look at the state of our world, and especially the level of enthusiasm and positivity of our young generations, and we can see that their view of their own lives is not emanating from a place of hope and happiness.

At this time, countless “how to be happy and rich and successful” books spring to mind, all with apparently tried and tested formulas on how to live life to the dot to ensure happiness. But as my partner accurately pointed out, happiness does not come from things, people or places, it comes from within ourselves. Only we can choose to connect to our souls, listen to our hearts and really follow in that direction.

And so we are not living in a reality.

Paulo Coelho accurately described the process of killing our dreams:

“When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we go through a short period of tranquility. But the dead dreams begin to rot within us and to infect our entire being.
We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves. That’s when illnesses and psychoses arise. What we sought to avoid in combat – disappointment and defeat – come upon us because of our cowardice.”

I think this accurately describes the state of most people’s lives. They put off following their dreams, as if following them would be a source of shame or futility. It’s not. Life is living your dream. Just as no two fingerprints are alike, no two people’s lives are the same. Everyone has a purpose, a goal, something to fulfil and contribute with open heart in this lifetime. Of course, we have the choice not to follow our paths, but the only person we hurt is ourselves.

Really connecting with ourselves and following our dreams is our privilege and right, and in turn it makes us truly happy. True happiness cannot exist if it has not originated firstly from within. And we cannot give happiness to others, if we are not happy ourselves first.

And so, be someone who makes you happy, so you can be with someone who makes you happy.

Written by Copyright © SoulSurfer 18th July 2012 at 11.10am

Living the moment...

A moment is something that cannot be captured or contained...just enjoyed. This is the realisation I have come to over the past few weeks. Yet, despite their lack of tenacity, moments are important. Moments are pinnacle points in life; ones we look on with either pleasant reminiscence or hasty omission. They are like the peaks and troughs on a heart rate monitor; the defining moments in a life which otherwise would otherwise make it a boring and lifeless existence.

Opportunists say to “live in the moment” while realists say “moments are fleeting”. Which do we do? Do we just keep living for the next best moment, while proudly nursing the scares of the bad ones? Or do we long for stability, and normalisation, believing that both good and moments will come again, so life is really just mediocre?

I’ve done something new in the last few weeks, in just really trying to experience the feeling of each moment. Just really being there, observing without judgement, how I feel, what I do, where each moment takes me next. And trying to breath positive energy into every experience. Living the moment, having an experience, taking the good with the bad, and just being happy it happened.  

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened" is my favourite Dr Seuss quote. How often we don’t realise things are not happening to us, we are making them happen. My best surfing analogy in this case would be an awesome moment I experienced two weeks ago. I went out for a paddle, struggled to paddle in for a while, until I aligned myself to just having fun, and stumbled on an awesome rip. A rip that literally pulled me in so fast, that I suddenly found myself being pulled out to sea; no paddling required. I had a few seconds to turn around and catch a monster of a wave that I had been struggling for so long. I guess all along I had been making it happen, but when the moment came, it was better, brighter and more awesome that I could imagine.

So I think how often, without positive energy and directional thinking, we miss the opportunities of moments coming along and sweeping us of our feet? How often do we miss out on capitalising on the moment due to sheer ignorance and boredom with life.

I finish with my favourite quote from Paulo Coelho about magic moments: “The magic moment is the moment when a “yes” or a “no” can change our whole existence. Every day, we try to pretend that we do not see that moment, that it does not exist, that today is the same as yesterday and that tomorrow will be the same too.”

Are We Becoming Blazé About Surfing?

When I was paddling out this afternoon, I noticed a tiny kid, maybe 4-5 years of age, raging away, and jumping on his board at the sight of every wave that came close. It was amazing to see this young boy pop up again within a matter of seconds, eagerly awaiting the next big wave. He was just fearless. He didn’t see the “Beach Closed” or “Strong current” signs. He didn’t feel the strength of the swell that would make him reconsider entering the water. He was just there; in passion and power for his beloved sport.

I remember when I first started surfing. Every small rise in the ocean was a wave to me, and every wave was worth catching and fighting for. High tide, low tide, I would proudly paddle out, stopping only once I had aligned myself with the line up. When I popped up and sat back on my board, and caught my breath, looking out into the distance, I finally felt I was a surfer. There were days when I would fight the white wash for hours, only just to realise I would not join the line up that day. Whatever weather, whatever tide or current, I was enthusiastic, ready and full of confidence. The main goal was to stand up and ride the waves. And I knew a lot of hard work would go into making that moment true.

I guess the knowledge of waves, as I deem it “waveology” kind of kills that enthusiasm for surfing. You learn where to surf out, avoiding the whitewash, and so align yourself quicker with the lineup. Then you learn to ‘feel’ when to stand up to get the most from your wave. Then one day ‘ta-da’ you put some pressure onto your back foot, and you find you’re turning (tricks!). One packed and crowded day on the waves, you discover two things; a massive wave coming towards you, and YOU are the first in the line up. This is your moment. This is your time to give it all that you got, knowing full well there are a dozen other surfers watching and judging you; wipeout or victory?

And so, it’s very easy to become a bit blazé about surfing. Avoiding the days when the surf is small, deciding ‘nahhh’ on in between days, and saying ‘hell no!!’ on dumpy or killer high days. You kind of set into your groove of what YOUR ideal wave is and wait for it. Just wait. As you know, surf waits for no one, and easily weeks can go past without your swell. Even when the conditions look right, we find reasons to say no to the call of the sea; big night, sore muscles, ‘not feeling it’, or a lot of paddle that’s not worth the surf. We get down to that one point in time; surfing becomes only the moment we stand on the board until we fall or get off. We shrink the whole experience to a few seconds. We even dream of someone jetskiing us out, paddling for us and even standing us up on the board, so we can enjoy those few moments of “yeeeehhaaaaa”...

Do we forget the experiences that have lead us to our moments of surfing glory?

So next time when you contemplate whether to surf or not, wetsuit or not, here or there…basically, next time you get about as annoying as a bride trying on her wedding gown…take a look at the young kid ploughing the surf. Or the happy tourists proudly posing with their rented Styrofoam boards and making exaggerated surfing gestures. Remember that once upon a time that was you, and feel that passion for surfing! Feel the wipeouts, the constant paddling, the disappointment of flat days, the rogue boards, the collisions… It’s all surfing. To compare surfing to sex, remember: the climax is as enjoyable as the foreplay, for without the foreplay it would not be!

Written by Copyright © SoulSurfer 31 March 2012 at 7.44pm

Pain – finding strength in the weakest point

Today my yoga teacher gave a very good take on pain and discomfort. She said that every one of in our practice will come across a pose that is difficult and makes us feel uncomfortable. We usually react in one of two ways; we give up on the pose, thinking it’s not worth it, or we try hard to distract ourselves from the pain we experience. Every pose in yoga is about softening (stretching) and strengthening at the same time. As our bodies vary so much, we all have our stronger and weaker points. The challenge of yoga is taking the time and patience to develop and strengthen the weaker points; the challenge being we can never master the art completely.

My teacher said: “Can you just stay in this pose, feeling the discomfort and pain, and choosing simply to observe, without reacting?”

It made me think a lot about life and our own “pains”; both physical and emotional. I had had pains in my joints for a long time, which I choose to ignore and distract myself from. Instead of being kind to my body, and working on strengthening and stretching the short muscles, I pretend the problem is not there, despite the fact my body is literally aching for a solution. Of course, going to yoga and stretching the affected areas is no easy task, but I try to stick with it and breathe life into every breath as I work towards ease. As the surrounding areas are strengthened, I start to feel I can enjoy the hectic sport schedule I had before.

But what about in life? Do we acknowledge and notice pain when it comes in our life? Or do we just recognise its effects and choose to ignore? Pain is a feeling that truly brings us right into our body and mind, and senses, makes us see things very clearly. Pain occurs when the surrounding areas of our life do not support our goal. When something has broken down, has become weak and no longer can cooperate. It’s like running a two-legged race with someone; if they fall, it’s terrible hard to drag them along with you and continue to the finish line.

I think a lot of times, pain signals to us that there will be something we have to soften or strengthen, and that the process won’t be easy. And sticking through a point of pain, without reacting to it, is difficult. And uncomfortable. Sometimes we just want to soldier on and “harden the f**k up”. But pain always has a purpose and is an opportunity to strengthen those weak areas and make them strong, so we are one with our purpose. Pain is an uncomfortable, yet valuable teacher.

The worst kind of pain is probably emotional. It can manifest into physical pain, but by then you probably have numbed out to it. There are times in life when we have to acknowledge our weakness; cry, get angry, feel depressed, shout out – just persevere through the weakest part, to feel a sense of freedom that comes from being strong enough to face it. Once you work through a weakness to its end, it can only become a point of strength. You have “been there, done that” and seen that even in the darkest hour, you made it through.

Yoga teachers always call their craft a ‘practice’ – because you always practice on strengthening and softening, and you need to be in continuous ‘practice’ to get better. Life does not stop after one painful event, and you never master it, as you cannot yoga. Life is about being in continuous practice to be a better and stronger you – pain is just that teacher.

Written by Copyright © SoulSurfer 24 March at 7.12pm

Dangerous swells - feel the fear and do it anyway?

When you say “I’m a surfer” or “I surf”, people immediately conjure up all the sensationally dangerous imagery that goes along with the sport...”Aren’t you afraid of the sharks?”, “I heard about this guy who got attacked...”, “Have you ever broken your board?”...etc...

I can’t imagine a sport that is more contact, and in which you are so at the mercy of Mother Nature than surfing. There is skating, but that’s you pushing yourself on a board. There is skiing or snowboarding, but it really is you who exerts the force, takes the first step to go down the mountain. You choose the slope, you choose the danger.

And yes, surfing is like that also. You can choose to surf the 1ft waves in Waikiki on a mild day and be 90% sure that nothing ‘dangerous’ will happen to you. You might also lie on your board doing nothing for a long time. But I’m talking about going out there when the current is well, forceful, when it has the power to really teach you something. And that is where I consider the danger of surfing to be – in the current.

People never think about the current. People see waves in terms of height and direction, not really understanding that it is what is happening under the water that matters. I went in the water over the weekend, only to practically fight to stay upright in knee deep water while I was holding my board by my side. The current was that strong. Not to mention dumpy and well painful if you got pounded. Hadn’t even surfed yet, and already I had 4 chances of putting a serious ding in my board.

It is currents like this, at which you throw yourself, that get you into trouble. The facade of small waves and OK surf, can immediately be put out of your mind when you are stuck in a rip you don’t want to be. I can imagine coming face to face with a shark is a horrendous experience, but on a more likely level, getting caught in rips is more deadly. There is nothing scarier than being in a whirlpool of a current, getting hit by waves from every angle, and not even having the opportunity to stay on your board to paddle in the right direction. Even more so, the silence of no waves at all to launch you back to shore safety, only a strong current holding you right where you are, despite furious paddling. Yes, being stuck at sea is no fun.

Surfing can mess you up in a psychological way. When you get into big waves and crazy currents, the only thing you want to do is establish control over board and swell, but the only option you have is to relinquish it. Sometimes you have to give up and go along with the swell, wherever it takes you. Sometimes you have to sit and wait for a wave, even though you’re all paddled out and want to touch sand.

I had the unfortunate encounters of being stuck in two helpless rips last month. I paddled and paddled and couldn’t get anywhere. And there was no one to help me either. When you do get out, the realisation of what has happened doesn’t hit you. No, it’s not until you go into the surf the next time that you become paralysed. Paralysed with flashbacks and fear, unable to go out to where you can’t feel the bottom. Surfing becomes impossible; without you on your board.

This weekend was the hardest for me. Just developing that trust that the swell will most times take me where I need to go, while knowing it can leave me stuck and helpless. As much as you train, pick the right boards, go out into the right conditions, you are always at the mercy of one of the greatest natural forces. But you have to feel the fear and do it anyway. The possibility of danger cannot eclipse the possibility of catching an amazing wave. Of going in an amazing barrel. Of feeling on top of the world. We gamble our lives every day with a force that cannot be tamed. We exploit it to our advantage. Because at the end of the day, it’s not sharks or other people’s boards that can kill us, it’s the same force that is benevolent to us on a really good ride.

If anything, we can only learn. The best surfer can get into a lot of trouble. But despite all the possible pitfalls, we live between fun and danger for the promise of the next Big Wave.

We feel the fear and do it anyway.

Content Copyright © SoulSurfer 13^th February 2012 at 3.40pm

Picture from: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dmphotography_x/4812582457/

Australian Open of Surfing - Day 1

Everyone has been complaining about Sydney weather...I was fortunate enough to duck out of the nasty downpour for some much needed sun and relaxation to the beautiful island of O’ahu for 9 days. Coming back, I brought the sunshine with me, with those beautiful hot summer days coming back with a vengeance.

How lucky it is that we had these days this weekend to kick of the Australian Open of Surfing in Manly Beach?! The event, marking Manly’s foray into the worldwide sporting arena, will take place from February 11-19. Just to top that, they have also built an amazing Beach Bowl for those budding skaters who will showcase their prowess and power! Two events in one plus lots of great giveaways and music events on!

If you’re a budding surfer who wants to experience some real competitive action, or a veteran proud to see some surf comps this side of town, you need to get down there!

More information and event schedules are available on: http://australianopenofsurfing.com/manly12/

Below are some of my photos from Day 1 of the competition – Mens Juniors. Enjoy!

Photos and content Copyright © SoulSurfer 13 February 2012 at 9.02am

Just can't find the words...

The last few weeks since the beginning of the year have been massive for me...Yes I have noticed I haven't sat down to contribute to the blog, but that was because despite having an avalanche of ideas and experiences, I still had writer's block...
I realised words are sometimes like music...when you are finally ready to play, your fingers may not always follow suit. Or a surfer who is on the path of a great wave, but just cannot make the paddle to ride it out...
To say that a writer's emotions do not contribute to the quality of his work is ignorance. In my case, the emotions were there, the words were their, the thoughts and expereinces were there, but the music did not play for me.
Sometimes it takes a good break, silence and an absence of having to explain in words that gives words new meaning to words when they do flow... Right now, writing, I feel like I am playing music.. a beautiful melody of experience!
But a new medium is really appropriate to showcase my experiences...pictures. Images from the Hawai'ian north shore and the wonderful Volcom Pipe Pro 2012 competition in Banzai Pipeline. Enjoy!

Photos and writing copyright © SoulSurfer 10^th February 2012 at 9.30pm

Breaking the board...

It’s a surfer’s worst nightmare, especially if you only have one. It doesn’t matter if you snap it clean in two or get a few dings and cracks in it. Breaking a surfboard, getting a ding in any way, breaking the intricate and wholly perfect design of the thing that keeps you afloat on the waves is a downer. Especially if you only have one board. And you have an amazing swell raging in the water.

If you really like surfing, you connect with your board and depend on it on this reciprocal level. It becomes an extension of you, and riding on anything else seems like going backwards. If you learn on a board, you know it so well, what it can (and can’t) do on the waves, its points of strength and weakness. I know most surfers have a few different boards in their quiver, but when you have only one, breaking it can shoot your confidence.

For me, going out and seeing a 6-8ft swell only seemed like an amazing chance to go out and really put myself to the test. I know I had a waaay too big board and I know the waves were so dumpy and vicious, that not getting hurt would mean a cardboard box top would be the only appropriate thing to ride on. But I went out, got stirred around in the waves, and made it out from the dragging swell – but my board didn’t. The nose kind of got cracked and split. Not good.

This is my third ding, so I am past the point of trying to fix it. It’s a great board, but money wise, not worth repairing...again.

After being sad for a good couple of hours, and sitting on the beach to console myself, I realised something. Buying another board, something smaller that would propel and excel my surfing had been on my mind for quite a while. I just put my dream of getting the perfect surfboard, which was an extension of me, down to a sheer wish list. I thought I’d practise away on this board, and then contemplate a new board after Hawai’i. And I wanted something amazing, a love-at-first-sight thing!

After breaking this board for the third time (unlucky), I realised that all this superstition was telling me something; I wanted to improve, I had put my heart and soul mentally and spiritually into being better, and physically started to tone up and take care of myself in order to surf better, but I was still riding something that my newfound abilities had outgrown. I was still trying to be better on a board that was limiting me, purely because it was limited. A surfboard, unlike a human, does not change, grow and mould into something better. It serves the purpose of the wave, the water, the surfer, the ability and its structure. It cannot go beyond itself.

But we as surfers, can go beyond ourselves. As my mum put it ”It’s an expensive sport”, but one in which each board, surfer and wave are matched perfectly. A different swell, a different board, a different day, surfer and board are married together and set out into the sunrise or (sunset).

So sometimes we have to say goodbye to one thing, and move on to, in my case, smaller and faster. I had my problems with turning on my 7’6” Epoxy, and it was a nightmare to get through on the incoming waves. In a lot of ways, it was hindering my performance when I already had the ability to do better. If breaking the board wasn’t a sign I needed a change, a step forward, I don’t know what was. Sometimes life is trying to tell us we can do better, but we hold on and stay modest, thinking we need to be better ourselves. Sometimes you need a push, or a break in the right direction.

Sure enough, 24 hours later, two beautiful fibreglass boards were lying on my balcony. A 7’6” and a 7’2”. In the name of progression, I will go with the 7’2”. And she is the most beautiful board I have ever seen!

Written by SoulSurfer © 29 December 2012 at 12.21pm

True identity; the strongest force

The strongest force in the Universe is a Human being living consistently with his identity.

Tony Robbins

I read this off a calendar page, which had pictures of lightning bolts, aptly, because these wise words hit me like a lightning bolt.

If you ever wonder why your favourite singer, band, surfer or inspirational person, is just so good at what they do, it’s usually because they have an absolute conviction and passion for their identity and who they are. Kelly Slater seeks a swell and just takes off after it. The wave inspires in him a strong link with his identity and who he is. Walking past a bookshop, you may see a new novel or book by your favourite author; something that catches your eye and is consistent with your beliefs and identity. The next thing you know, you are enthralled in prose, again reinforcing in thoughts and beliefs what you believe to be part of your identity.

So when I read this quote, I stopped and thought. I flipped the calendar to this page and earmarked it. It’s amazing when a thought, action, vision or word inspires something in you that causes you to react in a way that is consistent with who you are. For me, a thousand thoughts came to my head, and immediately thoughts of surfing, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Paulo Coelho and travelling flooded my consciousness. I never thought about it, that being who you really are, that enforcing your true identity could be a source of permeating and radiating strength in the Universe. There is a saying that if everyone did what they really loved, the world would be a happier place.

I know that when I am in the moment of surfing, this amazing feeling comes over me. It’s both a feeling of challenge and release; it’s like the energy of an atom splitting. You need to put energy in to release new energy, and for me surfing does that every time. The incredible centeredness and connectedness with my true identity I feel after surfing is indescribable and well, inspiring. I feel with the energy I get from surfing I create a ripple through the Universe, sending out messages of strength, happiness, confidence and peace.

Yes, peace. Because to be at one with the world, we must first be grounded and peaceful with ourselves and our identity. In yoga, my teacher said that each pose teaches you both strength and softness at the same time. You need to use strength to achieve softness and grace in the pose. In the beginning you look for strength to be able to find conviction and consistency in what you are doing. And that is how you build character and identity; that is how you build up the ‘mental yoga’ of your life.

What an amazing concept...that being yourself and living in consistency with your true identity and soul is the strongest force in the Universe? So the message is clear; live at one with yourself and keep at it!

Copyright SoulSurfer © 22 December 2011 at 3.41pm

On your own wave of inspiration

Sometimes it’s nice to have a mentor. Someone who guides you, who inspires you, someone by whom you can grow and develop your strengths and dreams. The feeling is amazing; here you are on the brink of a new life, new successes, new horizons and opportunities, and you have someone to look back on and turn to for comfort in feelings of doubt or frustration. Just the sheer knowledge of looking back and knowing your mentor is there, is enough to propel you into a space of endless creativity and passion for your craft.

And you can get addicted. A mentor is like a crutch when you have a broken leg; it is there to help you walk, but not make you walk. As your talent grows and blossoms, it’s so easy to attribute everything to the source where it began. It’s so easy to believe that the spark that lit the fire, is the fire to begin with. And then when your mentor attempts to move out of your shadow and set you on your own path, it’s so easy to cling to them and believe that you are following their path. Suddenly the inspiration drops, and can only be ignited by that reassuring presence of your mentor.

And this state of dependency can last a long time. It’s amazing to meet people who really ignite something amazing, wonderful and hidden in you, and propel you to unbelievable heights and experiences. All of a sudden you discover new dimensions within yourself, a new energy, a new way of doing and seeing things. It can be intoxicating, addictive, exciting, fresh.

But success goes after talent, and not before it. Inspiration is the magical ingredient that links the two together. And it can be shocking when you’re source of inspiration and reassurance is no longer there to guide you forward. Now you are your own guide, and fuelled by your own successes, you are the driving force moving yourself forward.

One of the most amazing moments is when you discover that you have developed over time your own talent, success and inspiration. That you started off inspired by a foreign concept, and then become one with it and embodied it. At that moment, you get creative power to steer your own ship, so to speak. Or your own surfboard. Someone may have given you the spark, the inspiration, but it was because they believed in your talent and success before you did.

And now it’s your turn to do the same.

Written by SoulSurfer © 12 December 2011 at 9.55pm

Being present in the moment

I had a sort of epiphany. Maybe each moment is perfect, and we are always in the right place at the right time.

In yoga, we are always reminded to “be present to the moment” which in itself is a task because it requires thinking about the past, how you’ve been ‘present’ before, and the future about how we can create that feeling again. Our minds race like high speed freight trains on tracks, always going one way or another, but never stopping at one station.

I think being present in the moment is really living in what the experience of it is, physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually. When we experience bad or negative emotions, we desperately try to dissipate them, and when we experience positive emotions, we desperately cling onto them for dear life, hoping to hold onto the feeling forever.

Forever. There is only present, really. I like the saying that “it is the darkest before the dawn”. You must see through the darkest hour to reach the lightest one. There can be no selectivity. So I think a person has to really deeply experience the emotion, the state, the present they are in, to be able to progress to the next moment. The key to remember is to be present to the moment, but have no attachment to it, as the next moment will come. Maybe this is what Buddhism teaches. That we cannot cling to the good or bad memories too long. I think this is looking with kindness on yourself – that you are not the sum of your good or your bad, but just a free being, being the best in a moment of time.

SoulSurfer © 28 November 2011 at 10.36pm