DO WHAT YOU LOVE

It seems the eye of the storm is the perfect place to ponder life. And Sunday afternoon in Manly proved to be the perfect place to be awed by Mother Nature’s beauty and splendour.

Picture this: about two dozen surfers scattered across the choppy and grey-hued sea, desperately competing against each other to catch the remnants of a decent days’ surf. It was about 5.30pm, when Mark and I stopped in our tracks and looked above. What happened over the course of the next 15 minutes was breathtaking.

The surfers continued to paddle towards the kamikaze waves, but our focus had shifted to the sky above. These pictures are simply beautiful. A grey sky melting into yellow across the skyline, finally being lit up with a magnificent red glow from the west. In one place rain began to fall and develop, but on the sunny side the sun struggled back into the spotlight to reveal a beautiful, full-arched, luminuous rainbow, which then cast its Technicolour shadow on the droopy and heavy clouds. The effect was a rainbow glow of light scattered across the clouds.

The photos below.

So Mark and I stopped on one conclusion: focus on doing what you love, and aim to improve yourself in what you love everyday. You only have one life, and the skills, passions and talents you have received in this life to enjoy and experience are unique to YOU only. Aim to be better than yourself everyday. Spend more time giving time to your passions and hobbies. Like Kelly Slater, aim for perfection in your craft over accolades and recognition. Be the best you can be in what you love.

 Life opens up doorways to those who are truly in sync with their life’s purpose. When you dedicate yourself to your passion, your cup is full and overflows; you learn to give to others willingly and selflessly. You cannot give if you are not self-full first.

 The first step lies in giving into your passion. Life is really what you make of it, and if you are in line with your purpose, JUST THINK of what lies ahead for you!

If you are not in line with your purpose, you are not contributing conscientiously to this world. And if you are not contributing conscientiously to this world, you are wasting your time here.

Let us go, and DO WHAT WE LOVE!

Copyright © SoulSurfer 9 August 2011 at 8.43pm

Chasing passion…seek your own swell

The Billabong Pro J-Bay 2011 just came to an end in Jeffrey’s Bay, South Africa on Sunday. To say the least, the surf was pitiful. Not the most captivating waves for pro surfers to showcase their prowess on. Nevertheless, there were some decent swells, and homegrown surfer Jordy Smith took out the title. Once again, we realise Mother Nature is the driving force behind the beauty (and at times savageness) of the sport.

But one very prominent figure was decidedly absent from the competition; Kelly Slater. The favorite for the 2011 title, was chasing his own thrills on the amazing swells exploding onto the shores of Tavi, Fiji. Just for fun really…

It made me think about chasing our passions in life. Would you ever leave at lunchtime from work if you knew any epic swell was about to sweep your nearest beach? What about going overseas to see your favorite band, whom you never seen live? Or taking a break from your rigid schedule to do something you really want to do with your time?

Just like Kelly, we really need to chase passion more often in our lives. If you have something that really captures your intrigue, something you love doing, something that fills your life with purpose, you need to be catching that wave. And you need to be doing it as much as possible. Life is too short to be stuck in the lowly swells of J-Bay, when you could be screaming “Yeehaaa!!” from the bow of a massive one in Tavi.

We feel too obligated in life to do the “should” “could” “would”, but need to do more of the “I want” and “I need”. Our dreams and passions are never really gone; they just slowly die inside of us, until we feel unmotivated to do anything; the compulsory or the voluntary.

Instead we need to keep the flame of passion and purpose burning. Even the busiest people find time to do what they love (hey, even a world champion), and in turn fulfilling their purpose drives them to continue onwards. Once you step into your passion, life becomes easier because the engine of success and happiness is churning along effortlessly. Passions also highlight your strengths and give you confidence to succeed in all areas of life.

So really, do you have an hour a day to INVEST in yourself? Do you have the mental space to tune out and connect with your purpose? Can you honour and reward yourself enough to just do what you love?

If you don’t, no one else will kindly do it for you.

Invest in YOU.

Seek your own swell...


Copyright SoulSurfer © 27 July 2011 at 9.09pm

This is the day to rule over addiction!

Addiction is an incredibly complex problem...yet there is a simple thing that an addicted person can do to lesson their load...just talk to someone. Share your pain with someone who cares. You may think no one cares, but there are people who are literally dying of grief worrying about the negative spiral you are getting into. Just talk. Life is not meant to be a solo fight, we need other people to help us out. It is not "weak" or "less manly" to share your feelings and thoughts, your greifs and problems. If it improves your life, it is definitely worth it. So just start a conversation. 


Live toward your purpose, not away from it. The world awaits YOU!!!


For more information, visit: http://softenthefckup.com.au/ 

FEMspiration: Heidi Klum: the German Powerhouse

Modeling is a very fickle business; the array of fresh-faced, leggy and skinny new talent to hit the catwalks comes and goes as quickly as the designer collections. Although models over the last 15 years have ventured away from being mere faces of fashion to mini entrepreneurs, it takes a lot to evolve past glorified coat hanger to glorified ‘It girl’. You have to have a lot of muscle, a lot of attitude; an approachability and down to earth nature with which you entice your many female and especially male followers. All this happy-go-lucky pizzazz on a low-carb diet…

Heidi Klum Samuel embodies all the qualities of quite literally a modeling powerhouse. Google her name and it is associated with anything from video games and TV shows, to footwear, jewellery and even candies and roses with her namesake. In a world where the model represents the brand, Heidi Klum has become a brand in her own right, with modeling it being second nature.

Heidi Klum, who came from a small town outside of Cologne, Germany, was persuaded to enter a modeling contest in 1992 by a friend, and out of 25,000 participants was crowned the winner. From then on, she accepted a modeling contract with Metropolitan Models New York, and has appeared in countless fashion shows and magazine covers, including Vogue, Elle and Marie Claire. However, her biggest claim to fame was appearing on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, from which she quickly attained the pinnacle of modeling superstardom, becoming a Victoria’s Secret Angel. Klum ended her 12 year long tenure with the Angels in 2010, during which she bounced back from three (!) pregnancies (usually in the space of a few weeks), to appear in super skimpy lingerie. In 2005, six weeks after giving birth to her second child Henry, Heidi modeled the $2 million dollar diamond encrusted Wonderbra, rocking an incredibly toned and tight midriff. Klum’s upbeat attitude, resilience and energy are palatable; she makes it her business to tackle the tricky world of fashion head on.

And it is exactly this attitude which has seen her grow and outgrow the fashion world and venture in to almost every avenue of business and merchandising. She has gone from curvaceous model to bona fide businesswoman with such ease and confidence (as well as four children in tow), you can’t help but feel there are not enough hours in the day for Heidi Klum. To name just a few of her accolades, she has been a spokesperson for H & M, & McDonald’s, appeared in several TV Shows such as Sex & The City, How I Met Your Mother and Spin City, appeared in commercials for Guitar Hero World Tour and Volkswagen, web-based videos entitled SPIKED HEEL battling evil forces planning to ruin Fashion Week. She is the face of countless brands such as European cosmetics brand Astor, shoe giant Birkenstock and New Balance, countless cosmetics lines for Victoria’s Secret and she has designed a line for Mouawad’s jewellery.

If that’s not enough to make you feel your multi-tasking skills are lagging behind, she has being the host, judge and executive producer of the super successful Project Runway since 2004 as well as Germany’s Next Top Model, also recently producing a new reality TV show with husband Seal called Love’s Divine, in which they offer love advice to couples.

The best part? Heidi Klum has four children! She has three children, Henry, Johan and Lou with husband Seal Samuel, her eldest daughter Leni being the biological child of Formula 1 boss Flavio Briatore. Klum and Samuel married in May 2005, while Heidi was pregnant with Leni, but states emphatically that “Seal is Leni’s father”. Each one of her pregnancies sees her bounce back, fitter, stronger and healthier than before. She has recently been a spokesperson and active participant of the AOL Summer Run challenge, uploading daily updates of her progress and comments on Facebook.

Heidi’s charm lies in her approachability and engagement with the public; she has so much enthusiasm, energy and humour and truly enjoys every project she does. She approaches it all with determination and sound business skills, and also her signature cheekiness. She’s the best friend you wish you had in the workplace.

And it seems life after Victoria’s Secret and four kids is not slowing Heidi down. She appears in the new movie Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil and is gearing for Project Runway’s 7^th season. Heidi leaves no stone unturned and she does it with what seems to be an ever present smile on her face. When you have an adoring husband, four kids, a rocking body the world at your feet, what’s not to smile about?

Heidi Klum Samuel is the entrepreneurial powerhouse of the modeling world, paving the wave for models alike.

Just do it...

So for me its 30 days until I leave Australia for my holiday which is anticipated to be named “Insane in Spain”… I am safely in a space where I feel that any consequences of my actions over the next 30 days, can be written off as “gone holidaying”…meaning I won’t have to deal with them, (or maybe I won’t care or remember them), until I come back. So basically I am living on the edge over the next month or so, knowing I can jump on a plane and leave it all behind for 3 weeks…I think there is a Dupree (from the movie “You, Me  & Dupree”) in all of us…

But I had a slightly weird thought…what if this was the last 30 days of my life…? What would I do? What ‘insane’ things would I attempt if ‘this was it’?

I think a lot of time, we countdown to holidays, events and parties, thinking that is the time we will go all out, be confident, have fun, do unbelievable things, experience amazing experiences…so what about the rest of the time? Do we live in mediocrity, putting all our anticipation into that one event? Then again, how often do highly-anticipated events or holidays turn out to be less than stellar and heart-racing?

Are our lives like a heart rate monitor; stable most of the time with a few high voltage blips here and there?

I believe everyone is given a unique life, which NEEDS to filled to the brim with things that are centrally important, and that inspire, motivate and cultivate your inner YOU. The only way to define from within, and really feel you have a presence in this lifetime, is to take control of what it is you want to do, who you want to be, what you want to experience, and take steady steps to fulfill these goals.

And not just once in a while, you need to get that heart pumping regularly. Whether it’s booking a last minute extreme sport activity, or going out of your comfort zone to try some exotic cuisine, we all need to start just doing, and reap the rewards of experience.

Don’t be the person who waits until they’re 30, until after uni, until after you have a stable job, to go on an African safari. Don’t put off taking surfing lessons for when it gets warmer. Don’t wait too long to ask out someone who you’re taken an interest in.

While the regret and embarrassment of doing something stupid may last a while, the regret of NOT DOING something usually lasts much longer. And it will keep gnawing at you, until you do something about it.

So if you feel there is something you want to do, just do it! Go for it, with your heart and soul…it may be good, it may be bad, but it’s experience. And we definitely are not experiencing enough of this beautiful life we are given! So just do it! Unleash you’re inner Dupree!

SoulSurfer Copyright © 17 July at 9.08pm

Be open, but do things when the time is right for you…

I was speaking to my friend on the weekend, when she said something that really struck me and has reverberated the whole weekend. Well it was two separate things, that when combined, have just produced this amazing revelation within myself.

This friend has the amazing ability to tell me exactly what I need to hear, when I need to hear it. It may not even seem like a direct response to my question, but it is what needs to be said at the time.

So the first thing she told me to do was to “Be more open…”. Now there are many definitions of open, from accepting heavily tattooed people, to embracing different religions, to trying unusual cuisine to just thinking outside the box. But the “open” my friend was talking about, was having an open heart. Not just regarding the opposite sex, but to others in general. Anyone who knows me will know I accept with openness all the things mentioned above, in fact I thrive on being “open” to them. But she made me question “am I really open to others”? In her definition, being open to others is just letting people enter your life, and responding to them in a way that is congruent with who you are. Not pretending to be anyone else, not putting up barriers, not playing games. Just embracing the experience of interacting with another person, but not letting the experience define you.

I think we live in a world where we care too much about what insignificant people in our lives think about us. ‘Insignificant’ here meaning, people who by no means are close to us, or truly know who we are, but who are a part of our daily lives. It may be a superior whom you have to deal with on a day-to-day basis, a neighbour who gives you disapproving looks when you take out the garbage in your pajamas, or an occasional friend who puts you down in indirect ways. We by no means like these people, and yet we care about what they think…

Being “open” is first embracing who you are and then telling the world “this is who I am; take it or leave it”. When you have the openness to express that attitude, without aggression or arrogance, you begin to attract the very people who can respect who you are and your boundaries. You forget about trying to impress others, and start to impress yourself with your newfound confidence. It becomes a very positive snowball effect from there on out…

The second thing she said was “Be more open…but don’t do things against yourself”. Imagine having 20 seconds to prepare a speech and having this gut feeling that you just can’t wing it. It ends up coming out wonky and lacks energy or confidence.

As much as we sometimes want to do something, and we psyche ourselves up, sometimes that inner drive is just missing. I realised this over the weekend, when everyone was spurring me into action, yet all I felt apt to do was retreat. I had been thinking and analyzing things too much, to the point where I felt dizzy and confused and unable to physically do anything. I was on the brink of “just going for it”, but decided against, as I really wanted to put my whole heart into it. It was the right decision, as I immediately felt relieved, and felt I could think clearly without all the clutter.

I think these two concepts really work together. You can only be open to others and open to opportunities, when you are not forcing yourself into a specific direction. When you take out the ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’, take a step back and first reconnect with yourself. I think each individual is their own best compass, and it is better to get behind something wholeheartedly and with enthusiasm when the time is right, rather than to just wing it and hope for the best. You are the own potter of your life, and you will produce your best art when you are inspired to do so.

Where passion goes, dreams follow.

Written by: Copyright © SoulSurfer 11^th July 2011 at 7.28pm

Friendship, the gift that keeps giving…

I felt really inspired after a conversation today to write about the sheer power of…friendship.

Seriously, you don’t have to watch Sex and the City to realise that the power of friendship really transcends all manner of life’s troubles, ups and downs, events, successes and failures. Though the high profile series does emphasize sex and relationships, you can’t miss the fact that underlying all of it, there is a bond between four friends that moulds their lives together.

And today, after speaking for only half an hour with my best friend over Skype (after 40 minutes of every connection and technological difficulty known to man!), I was once again so buzzed up and psyched, that I can safely say I won’t be sleeping tonight.

For me, having a great relationship with another soul, on that level that you can speak freely about everything you want, share all your troubles and happiness, share trivial and stupid, serious and painful things, to me that is the greatest interpersonal achievement in life. Of course, it may take a whole lifetime to realise what friends are, who those true, stay by your side, through thick and thin people are, but it is always worth it. Just as people are willing to do many great things in leaps and bounds for love, I think the same applies to friendship.

And many people say that friendship between a man and a woman cannot exist, without one party feeling romantic feelings for the other. I am happy to say I have had many purely platonic friendships, in great part thanks to the fact that I work with men on a daily basis. There is so much to learn and glean from the male perspective, and men are willing to share their side of the story, troubles and successes, with a woman who can just listen…

…Just listen. Sometimes I think that’s what a friendship is all about. It’s great to have a friend who can give us a pep talk when we need it, but I think a human being’s greatest psychological need is just to be heard sometimes. To just have someone listen to our lives, no matter how banal or chaotic they may seem. Sometimes it’s enough to give someone your time and your ear, and to show them that “I want to share your life story”.

The best thing is that friendship really has no boundaries. It crosses race, age, status, religion, physical characteristics. Relationships sometimes fail to take off due to prejudice regarding these factors. But friendship is a gift that can be offered freely, because in the beginning people usually don’t think much of the encounters that lead to friendship. A chat with your local barista, sharing your seat with someone on the same route to work, seeing the same dude surfing at the spot every week… These incidents seem like one-offs, until we are willing to make the connection and just engage with the other person.

It’s impossible to explain fully how paramount friendship is. Friendship I would say is the glue that holds life together. You cannot choose your family, and many times your family take you for granted because they expect a good connection with you by right of blood. Not always so. The same way an unattended friendship can wither and die, the same way a lack of respect and feeling of friendship within family, can lead to resentment and entitlement.

So friends are the family we choose, and hopefully keep for life. I know I definitely cherish them above all else; they are the light to my flame!

Copyright © 1 July 2011 at 8.08pm SoulSurfer

Always act like you're wearing an invisible crown...

Today I realised it’s not fair to always feel inferior to your dreams. To be focused on what you don’t have as areas for improvement toward attaining “the dream”.

I let myself run into the “I cant’s” of life. I can’t do this. I don’t have that. I’m not this. I don’t know that. Gosh, do I really have to overlook all that I DO HAVE?

Instead of working from a position of power, working with what I do have, I always seem to be working for the things I don’t have. It’s like a rat in an exercise wheel – always running after something, never being happy to just stop. There is a saying “work smarter, not harder”. I seem to take immense thrill in working hard. But sometimes the wariness of working hard can detract you from your goal. Sometimes it can make you lose sight of what it is you are good at. Sometimes you forget to stop and smell the roses along the way.

The problem with success is that we struggle all too much to attain the pinnacles it defines: the first huge paycheck, the new clothes, the first shiny car, the first impulsive purchase without a look at the price tag. But somewhere along the way we forget to stop in the mirror and say “Hey, I am doing pretty well” and rack up the self-confidence points. It seems sometimes the only time I am happy is when I am on the long and winding path to an (obscure) goal. I feel like I am working toward something – key word being ‘something’. It’s like the rat race defines my way of life. As if being inferior to the goal, feeling you have to “work your way up” to attain confidence and success is the only way to be happy, to feel useful and fulfilled in society.

But can I just be happy in the meantime? Can I be proud that I pitched a good idea to my boss? Can I be happy I scored a meeting with an event manager? Can I be happy that I finally got the $49.11 off the client who hadn’t paid in three months?

What about all the small skills you learn along the way? Learning to format a report properly, learning to fix a jam in the fax, learning to change the towel dispenser in the bathroom? These are all skills. Why does my success have to be defined by a mountain, when it should be defined by several hills? And in today’s world, where experience is essential, isn’t it better to know a bit of everything from these small successes?

I know there will come a time when my life narrows down to one thing, one avenue of work, but then I think I’m sure to get bored quicker. I realise now that really you cannot be happy, or attain happiness, if you are not enjoying the road that is taking you there. More importantly, if you are so blindsided by the goal, that you ignore the journey, there will no doubt come a time when you may have to revisit the path, only to find you have no idea where you are.

My point is simple; live in the here and now. Praise your effort now. Be confident in what you know now, and pay importance to the can-do’s and am-able-to’s in your current life. Your success should only be defined by your own vision, not someone else’s, but even then; your success should be as simple as self-praise for living the past day as well as possible.

So always act like you are wearing an invisible crown, that way you are always the king or queen of your success. 

Copyright © 21^st June 2011 at 7.54pm by SoulSurfer

HOW SERIOUS ARE WE ABOUT OUR DREAMS?

 

A very powerful question asks “What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?”

As I ponder this question in all of its magnitude and opportunity, I immediately am hit with another more reality-based question: “How serious are we about our dreams?”

It seems the word ‘dream’ in today’s world has been replaced with less trivial terms such as goal, ambition, aspiration. But really, as we grow up do we lose sight of our dreams? Are dreams only confined to the realm of children and the young at heart (or slightly kooky)?

Paulo Coelho in his book “The Pilgrimage” describes unfulfilled dreams as ones that initially bring peace from the combativeness of life, but ones which eventually rot within us and infect our whole being. Dreams ignored leave a life unfulfilled.

In order to fulfill our dreams, we must reconnect with them and define them. To some it is an easy task; the dreams have been there, simply repressed by the monotony of life. For others a journey of self-awakening must occur; arousing our strengths and articulating them into solid concepts.

But even after this period of revelation and epiphany, many people go back to the daily chores of life and make no commitment to their dreams. It’s amazing how the most important and potentially life-changing ideas of a person’s life, fall prey to the banal existence they have become accustomed to. We know there is more in life, we know there is a life more exciting and fulfilled, but we lack the strength, conviction and commitment to see our own dreams through. Our own dreams…

Maybe it is because ‘dreams’ are overrated. Maybe they seem like a Disney movie. Maybe they are harder to define and then propel into action than a company project. But they are our projects, our life’s project, and the only people who live with the reality of our unfulfilled dreams are we ourselves.

It’s time to get serious about our dreams. It’s time to commit to making them a reality. It’s time to invest time, money, ideas and resources into the best commodity; your own life. It’s time to grow and believe and become a better person, step by step, dream by dream.

It’s time to be the person who lost 50 pounds on the infomercial.

It’s time to be the next person to climb Mount Everest.

It’s time to leave the job you hate, because there is something more productive and fulfilling you could be doing with your time.

It’s time to be serious about your life and dreams, because you only have one and no one else will live it for you.

Copyright © 13 June 2011 at 9.13pm SoulSurfer

http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2011/02/20/character-of-the-week-petrus

24th Annual Snowy McAlister Longboard Surf Festival 11-13 June

The Queen’s birthday long weekend was kicked off with the annual Snowy McAlister Longboard festival, now in it’s 24^th year. The event is championed by the Manly Malibu Boardriders club which was founded in 1985 by five dedicated surfers.

The weather was quite ugly and overcast, but in the water it couldn’t have been more ideal! The waves were forceful, long and the swell was just right for the longboarders to show off their surfing prowess.

Here are some photos from the first day heats:

For more information visit: www.mmbc.info/home.htm
Copyright © 12 June 2011 at 2.07pm SoulSurfer

STOP DEFINING. JUST EXPERIENCE

Last year in November, two words both defined and liberated me at the same time:

Just experience.

It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a command. I had been looking at ways to simplify my life. Things had gotten a bit too complicated, to the point that I was micro-analysing some things, and then on the other hand, blatantly sweeping big fat elephants under the rug. I was lost and needed clarity. And then came those words.

I don’t need to get into the context of the epiphany. If you look at those words carefully, they are both the alpha and omega of what you need to know in your life.

I accept there will be times in life when you must search in-depth for the answers. You may need to go over things with a fine-tooth comb to really delve into the core of the situation. And then at other times, you need to just take top-down approach and lightly skim over the specifics. But the biggest picture still remains;

Just experience.

I have come to gain a lot in life by being inquisitive, looking for patterns in problems, and finding innovative solutions which encompass what I have gleaned.

God, I sound like a scientist…

But… sometimes there is no answer. Sometimes you’re not supposed to know the answer then and there. Sometimes life hasn’t even defined the answer, and all you’re perceiving is unintelligible mumbo-jumbo. Sometimes you’re just not ready. Sometimes you need to just let go of control and,

Just experience.

Luckily, when I had my epiphany, I had been fortunate enough to unknowingly be cultivating a “just experience” attitude. I just hadn’t defined it in those terms. And here is where the act of defining stifles the experience of experiencing. When you define, you put parameters based on what you know, and essentially reject other things that may be beneficial to expanding your experience. And definition is a form of control; and it is only once you relinquish control, that you let life take you by surprise.

Taking the good with the bad and putting it down to experience is the wisest practice. You have free will to choose some experiences in your life, but trying to block and control the others deprives you of a full life experience. Every experience in life is a lesson, and only these lessons can define and shape you as a person. There are a lot of pleasant experiences which fill us with hope, happiness and determination, where others just leave us alone, lost and drained. But it is confidence in the act of experiencing that needs to be maintained. The knowledge that you are always moving forward, always making progress, always becoming a more abundant individual.

When you let life define you, you are no longer confined to defining it.

So just experience.

(Subliminally, I hope I have used the word “experience” enough times for it to enter your subconscious! :) )

Copyright © 10 June at 7.14pm SoulSurfer

Connecting with your chemistry and creativity...with your art

I just love this quote from Anthony Kiedis, he really encapsulates the chemistry of creating, be it music, art, novels..anything :) Definitely a great quote for when writer's block pops up!

"Chemistry is beautiful and important to any musical endeavor, and it's also impossible to figure out or force it."

Anthony Kiedis

A wave of respect; a surfer’s take on Mother Nature

When you first begin surfing, you plonk your long, heavy foam board in the water, fighting white water, as you rehearse in your mind the few simple steps just learnt to go from prone to standing in a flash…

Each approaching ripple in the water fills you with excitement, your arms dipped in the water, ready to furiously paddle and feel the momentum pushing you forward. If you manage to find your feet (and balance) and stand up for a few photo-worthy seconds, then surfing success has been achieved.

My first few surfing practices were attempts to master and improve on this simple formula. I reminded myself it took all of three minutes for the surfing instructor to explain the procedure, but as he then revealed, before I embarked on a fairly successful wave, “It takes years to become a good surfer”. Wow… my ride quickly ended when I found myself entangled in a bunch of menacing seaweed.

But I emerged victorious and inspired. I wanted more. I found myself perfectly aware that bridging the gap between kook and wave-thrasher was not going to be an easy task. And I loved it. I was the animal on the hunt for a chase, and decided to meet my match in the ocean. A duel with Mother Nature.

Of course, you quickly realise just how out of your depth (to use a pun) you really are. Not only is your 30-second intro to surfing a pretty flimsy one, but you are confronted with a force that is as capricious as well, the weather.

There were days I would quietly snub the lack of waves under my board, arrogantly hoping “I could finally get a decent surf in”, only on other days, to be ready to paddle and stand, and be thoroughly mangled and ripped to shreds by a violent rip. Bikini and I – parted by the sea.

If you see surfing as sexy, it’s hard to be sexy when your hair is salt-laden, hanging over your face in dreadlocks, and it’s quite possible you just mooned a bunch of surfers who had time to catch the wave and also you - not catching it. It’s funny, it’s embarrassing, it’s painful. That board also does a fair amount of impact when you are on the wrong side of it. Ouch.

And then, “but I want more”…

 

If you manage to continue surfing after the bruises, the nose dives, the spectacular screw ups and disrobements, you begin to appreciate one thing – this is Mother Nature’s territory. This is a playground that can be placid and pleasurable in a moment, only to unleash fury and force similar to a natural disaster in an instant. Because we are only human with our little boards and boards do break. Think of what can happen to a surfer then…

This is what you come to realise if you truly appreciate surfing. I don’t mean in a spectator kind of way. When you embody surfing, you submit with respect to the power of Mother Nature and accept that you are not riding the wave, the wave is riding you. As time goes on, you recognize that the simple surfing formula is the same, the only difference between catching the miniscule and momentous waves is your approach. Like a Buddhist monk, you approach your master with deeper and more involved insights, when the time is right. Once you have become enlightened to do so.

Surfing is the same – catching a wave is a mix of privilege and prowess. You stake your claim to the world, possibly riding out towards jaws dropped or sly sneers. It’s competitive, it’s raw, it’s spiritual. It’s surfing.

And I, in all my kook-iness, am honoured to be in this world. In a world where as Kelly Slater, world number one, points out “…surfers get to experience a lot more highs than normal people.”

Copyright © 7 June 2011 10.31pm SoulSurfer

Perfectionism - the obsolete desire driving towards depression

Attaining perfection – it’s the ultimate catch-22. The goal is admirable and lofty, yet rationally, unattainable.

Human beings are constantly bombarded with visions of improvement, betterment, evolution towards the better of their current status. We could say it’s a Western, socio-economic, competitively-fuelled, technologically-advanced problem, but not necessarily – even in the most basic and grassroots village of a third world country, you will find someone who has evolved past what others at the time can attain.

Yes, its human nature to be competitive, to strive for more, to believe we are constantly moving towards bigger, better, deeper into reality-enhancing and improving. Without admitting it, we move towards realities which are more perfect than the current one.

But does the pursuit ever stop? And what impact does it have on our psyches?

Without getting all psychological, there is no doubt that the pursuit of perfection eventually evokes obsession. Never satisfied with the present, forever chasing the future reality, which once attained fuels further pursuit – no wonder a person feels detached from the world, but confident each new step forward will bring reward and finally, rest. Rest from the chase. But setting perfectionism as a goal, defining the parameters of life that will ensure your eternal happiness, is a futile and mind-boggling concept. It’s like an atomic chain reaction – once set off, the connections created are boundless, until an opposing force is strong enough to bring them to an end.

And here is where I throw depression into the mix – having invested so much time, energy into perfecting our lives, we lose touch with the ‘real’ reality happening in the present, with loved ones, work, family – things that meant a lot to us. Ultimately the goal self-destructs (or was never there) and a person realises that somewhere along the way they have also lost much more. So depression kicks in. In all my years of studying psychology, depression in my definition is a disconnection and impaired interpretation of reality. When you make being perfect your goal, you see the world through an imperfect lens.

Ending this article on a positive and uplifting note, nothing is needed more in this world than balance. Constantly monitoring yourself to check when you are out of balance and need to return back to the middle. Meditation is a wonderful thing, as you focus only on the present and clear your mind.

I always believe, “You should not strive to be better than others, but better than yourself”. Real, balanced self-improvement comes from making positive steps forward in your own pace, time, and with adequate resources. It comes from within, and provides satisfaction within.

Once the goal of balance is strived for, you become more appreciative of your life. Balance is impossible to completely attain, but that is why you appreciate what happens in your life, both good and bad. Because it is appreciation for the duality of life that produces balance and harmony. 

Copyright © 5 June 2011 SoulSurfer

Surfing: a metaphor of life and love

Because of surfing, I have come to understand life in a whole new way; everytime I go out surfing the experience is new and unanticipated. You don’t know what it will hold. The best you can do is just let go and let the wave ride you. In time, you develop the skills you need to deal with the waves you are getting. 

In time. 

You may have done that new thing you learned a thousand times before, but it only ‘works’ in the moment you discover it and were meant to discover it.  Sometimes you can do something which in theory produces a result, but have it not work for you. When you put too much headspace into what you want to create, the creativity dissipates and leaves you with only a step by step image of the final result. Get on your board. Paddle. Look up. Stand up. How ungraceful is that? It’s mechanic, robotic. 

When you internalise your passions, take them on and make them part of your being and essence, it is then you become one and can transform the passion outward into the graceful form it is meant to be. 

Surfing is a feeling deep inside. It’s the way the feeling takes over you, guides you to do the right thing at the right time. It’s the magic of all manor of forces coming together in one single moment – when you stand up and let the wave navigate you. 

Surfing is a lot like falling in love also…the end result is beautiful, gracious, amazing…But so much goes into it beforehand. Waxing your board, battling the water for a break, lying in wait for the wave, swimming out to catch it…The bruises, the wipeouts, the sand everywhere…But we do it all for those few seconds, where we can be on top of the world…

Copyright © 7 March 2011 SoulSurfer