Monday, July 11, 2011

Be open, but do things when the time is right for you…

I was speaking to my friend on the weekend, when she said something that really struck me and has reverberated the whole weekend. Well it was two separate things, that when combined, have just produced this amazing revelation within myself.
This friend has the amazing ability to tell me exactly what I need to hear, when I need to hear it. It may not even seem like a direct response to my question, but it is what needs to be said at the time.

So the first thing she told me to do was to “Be more open…”. Now there are many definitions of open, from accepting heavily tattooed people, to embracing different religions, to trying unusual cuisine to just thinking outside the box. But the “open” my friend was talking about, was having an open heart. Not just regarding the opposite sex, but to others in general. Anyone who knows me will know I accept with openness all the things mentioned above, in fact I thrive on being “open” to them. But she made me question “am I really open to others”? In her definition, being open to others is just letting people enter your life, and responding to them in a way that is congruent with who you are. Not pretending to be anyone else, not putting up barriers, not playing games. Just embracing the experience of interacting with another person, but not letting the experience define you.

I think we live in a world where we care too much about what insignificant people in our lives think about us. ‘Insignificant’ here meaning, people who by no means are close to us, or truly know who we are, but who are a part of our daily lives. It may be a superior whom you have to deal with on a day-to-day basis, a neighbour who gives you disapproving looks when you take out the garbage in your pajamas, or an occasional friend who puts you down in indirect ways. We by no means like these people, and yet we care about what they think…

Being “open” is first embracing who you are and then telling the world “this is who I am; take it or leave it”. When you have the openness to express that attitude, without aggression or arrogance, you begin to attract the very people who can respect who you are and your boundaries. You forget about trying to impress others, and start to impress yourself with your newfound confidence. It becomes a very positive snowball effect from there on out…
The second thing she said was “Be more open…but don’t do things against yourself”. Imagine having 20 seconds to prepare a speech and having this gut feeling that you just can’t wing it. It ends up coming out wonky and lacks energy or confidence.
As much as we sometimes want to do something, and we psyche ourselves up, sometimes that inner drive is just missing. I realised this over the weekend, when everyone was spurring me into action, yet all I felt apt to do was retreat. I had been thinking and analyzing things too much, to the point where I felt dizzy and confused and unable to physically do anything. I was on the brink of “just going for it”, but decided against, as I really wanted to put my whole heart into it. It was the right decision, as I immediately felt relieved, and felt I could think clearly without all the clutter.

I think these two concepts really work together. You can only be open to others and open to opportunities, when you are not forcing yourself into a specific direction. When you take out the ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’, take a step back and first reconnect with yourself. I think each individual is their own best compass, and it is better to get behind something wholeheartedly and with enthusiasm when the time is right, rather than to just wing it and hope for the best. You are the own potter of your life, and you will produce your best art when you are inspired to do so.

Where passion goes, dreams follow.

Written by: Copyright © SoulSurfer 11th July 2011 at 7.28pm


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